tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post1255931307543536872..comments2013-08-03T07:08:40.804-07:00Comments on Me, my 'toy boy' and 2.5 kids: Being a mum with a 'toyboy' and 2.5 kids - for MumsnetThe Inadvertent Cougarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09189790222143056979noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-812683939307119062012-10-17T23:56:32.412-07:002012-10-17T23:56:32.412-07:00Again, I absolutely agree with you - but only to a...Again, I absolutely agree with you - but only to a point. <br />My intention is not to bask in the public attention (!) rather to draw attention to the inequalities that - amazingly - I've found still exist after so long. Men are viewed as a 'success' if they have a young pretty wife on their arm (unless the age gap is so extreme it's perceived as seedy) whereas women are painted by the media as predatory, foolish or deluded.<br /> I am a journalist and an academic, and have found the media's portrayal, and public attitudes towards, such relationships appalling and intriguing. And I don't mean MY particular relationship!!! It was just that, having found myself in such a relationship, it opened my eyes to what was going on.<br /> You, clearly, have an intelligent, mature response to such things (ie by saying each to their own etc), but sadly, you are not the majority. <br />If the exploration in the blog doesn't interest you, that's fine, but it simply piqued my interest as a feminist and academic, and writer, and I have continued to question people on their responses, as they are forming the basis of the book I have written on the matter. And, before you say anything, NO, it is not about me, nor do I feature in it!!! <br />Thanks for coming and commenting though - it's good to get some debate going!The authornoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-54419971929830518612012-10-17T13:44:19.123-07:002012-10-17T13:44:19.123-07:00I do apologise if you found my comment rude. That ...I do apologise if you found my comment rude. That was not my intention but people of my generation are famous for what we would call plain speaking. I am puzzled, though. You say it shouldn't be an issue but you are happy to write a column about it. Why not just enjoy yourselves away from the public eye while you're both young? As for the ages, I think there is a difference between the two examples because people are rarely as grown-up as they think at 17, whereas they should be fully responsible for themselves at 30. But my best friend and her partner are ten years apart - she is older - and have been together 20 years, in which time the subject has never been mentioned. I do find it odd when some actor of 80 hooks up with someone of 30, but in general I say each to their own as long as they are doing no harm to anyone. But really is this column saying anything new on a rather tired subject. In my experience I find the people who claim they are being judged are either imagining the judgment themselves, or are rather fond of the attention. Francis Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-51447760544742234832012-10-17T05:21:18.895-07:002012-10-17T05:21:18.895-07:00And I'd love to know what everyone else thinks...And I'd love to know what everyone else thinks too! The Inadvertent Cougarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09189790222143056979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-33773760663201839962012-10-17T05:20:20.056-07:002012-10-17T05:20:20.056-07:00Dear Francis,
That is my point EXACTLY!! There SH...Dear Francis,<br /><br />That is my point EXACTLY!! There SHOULDNT be anything remarkable in it.. and yet yet people who know us, and even more who don't, feel that it IS an issue, that is IS remarkable. We are judged constantly - especially me - whereas if the sexes/situation were reversed, no one would bat an eye lid. <br /><br />Also, I'm intrigued to know when, in your view, a younger man becomes 'toyboy' or , as you say, 'classic toyboy material'? If you don't think 11 years younger constitutes being a toyboy - what is the required age gap? 15 years? Twenty? <br /><br />Or does it depend on the current age of the people involved? ie If a 30 year old to date a 17 year old (13 years age gap) is that worse/more remarkable than a 43 year old dating a 30 year old (13 years age gap)?<br /><br />Let me know!<br /><br />ps I'll ignore the rude, personal comments about my lovely husband looking older than me .. ! Probably just a bad photo...<br />The Inadvertent Cougarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09189790222143056979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-75743465376561886882012-10-16T09:32:27.208-07:002012-10-16T09:32:27.208-07:00He looks years older than you. Hardly classic toyb...He looks years older than you. Hardly classic toyboy material. I wish you all the best but is there anything at all remarkable in the age gap or your story? Francis AndrewsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-73592785336269978642012-02-12T04:54:47.343-08:002012-02-12T04:54:47.343-08:00Guess what i come a country much different and far...Guess what i come a country much different and far away from you, and am dating a handsome kinda 13 years younger then me, he proposed me and I am reluctant thinking he will get over and go away but it is now second year he is still there ever loving me like hell. Feel good reading your blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-77812410601393439232011-08-02T11:15:21.717-07:002011-08-02T11:15:21.717-07:00Thank you so much! And thanks for visiting too...Thank you so much! And thanks for visiting too...The Inadvertent Cougarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09189790222143056979noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3315127897872778339.post-50240270443525793692011-07-12T08:36:22.459-07:002011-07-12T08:36:22.459-07:00I love the wedding pic! The dres is fab.I love the wedding pic! The dres is fab.The mum of all tradeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15834277006933337733noreply@blogger.com