Wednesday, 25 November 2009

The Cougar meets the parents

So Madonna has met the mother of toyboy Jesus Luz… a woman 15 years younger than herself. Now there’s a social challenge - and not, I suspect, one that’s covered by Debrett’s Rules of Etiquette.

In days gone by, you met your potential mother-in-law dressed demurely and hopefully looking like someone who would not only be the perfect wife for her precious son, but also the perfect mother to his future children. By contrast, Madonna already has a couple of ex-husbands behind her and a (growing) clutch of children by a variety of fathers. Also, at 51, she is likely to be less fertile than her potential mother-in-law (36). I wonder if this is what Mrs Luz had in mind for her darling son? The fact is, the cougar usually comes with a lot of baggage and it’s not just the toy boy, but also his family, who have to take it on board – whether or not they want to.

I don’t know how much Ad Man prepared his parents before we were introduced, but from what I'd already heard about them, I was nervous about it. On paper it wasn’t looking good. His mother is just 14 years old than me – so not even legally old enough to be my ‘mother’. And both his mum and dad are good practising Christians. I don’t go to Church myself, but I know enough about good Christians to understand that a 40-something divorcee with two children in tow was probably not top of the wish list for their son.

As it was, I needn't have worried. They were charming and lovely, and welcomed me into the bosom of the family - apparently just happy and relieved to see their son looking so relaxed and content for a change. And maybe that’s what we should all remember – that relationships don’t always follow the accepted ‘rules’ and that we should look beyond what is considered the ‘norm’ and see what it is that really makes people happy. I hope Mrs Luz felt the same.

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